Frustration

So. I'm going to be shamefully honest here. I haven't gone running since Christmas morning and that was only a 2.8 mile run around the neighborhood. I've been eating nothing but junk food it seems, too--cookies, candy, chips...I had no restraint for the past 2 weeks. I guess I was just preoccupied and happy, definitely happy. Not about the junk food or the lack of exercise, but about being around the people I love and being home and having fun without worrying about being at work because I had some time off. I think the only exercise I've done beyond Christmas morning was rock wall climbing, which isn't exactly cardio but is great for working the fingers and arms--oh, and a bit of swing dancing.

Anyway, so today I decided to try treadmill running to ease back into things. I've been scared to start up again after the hiatus because I've been too worried to face how my endurance has suffered. Well, the verdict is that, indeed, my stamina/endurance has suffered greatly. At mile 2 (running at a slowwww pace) I felt like my chest was going to explode. It was really tight and I was huffing and puffing. I knew my goal of 4 miles was not going to happen. I slowed my pace down even more to try to make it to 3 mi. Around mile 2.5, I was having such an internal battle between my mind and my legs that I had to stop. I was ashamed to stop. I was disappointed in myself and still am because I probably could have made it to 3 mi. if I had really tried. Well, I guess it can only get better from here. I feel like I've definitely fallen away from my goal of training for a 10K by February, but perhaps it'll still happen. I just have to get back into a rhythm and try not to let this affect me too much. : \